lalita larking

An obsession with cryptic crosswords. Everything else falls in place.

Location: Kolkata, India

Friday, December 14, 2007

All for the want of a horseshoe nail

Our landline rang. He answered.

I was staring at a mail I received, cursing the day I wrote that post about classified columns and massage parlour ads. This sort of thing arrives regularly-


Found ur profile on the net. Please send a mail to confirm.....I'm
interestd in getting a message done by u.....Rply sun...


I missed out most of the one-sided conversation. My attention was only sparked when I heard him say he was sad to confess he does not fall in to the age category. Huh?

"Yes, I do have a son, but he is below your age limit and a student still." What on earth was this about?

"No, I do not rejoice in a son-in-law. Thank you, it was nice talking to you."

I shrugged. Like me, he is terminally polite when it comes to tele-marketers. They know not what they do, after all. He looked wistful as he rang off.

"What was that about, honey?"
"We have missed a bonanza, Lali."

The call was from an insurance company, starting Kolkata operations. Our number came up in some random fashion, apparently.

"The offer was for accident insurance worth one hundred thousand Rupees, for ten years and no premium…"
"So what is the catch?"
"Just one condition. There should be a married male in the household, aged between twenty-five and forty-nine."
I laughed. "What a crazy condition."

I deleted the mail and dealt with the rest of my correspondence.

"Lali, your toyboys are all in their twenties, aren't they?"
"A toyboy, by definition, has to be in his twenties, honey," I said. "Most are, but some are older. Why?"
"I wonder if any are married."
"What are you getting at?"

He was still mulling over the offer, clearly. "I wonder if any of them would care to be a second husband…"
"But that's illegal." I laughed.
"Nah. Having two wives is illegal, not two husbands," he said, with a grin." And we could have had that accident cover…"



Anonymous Non Sequitur Man said...

Dear Madam,

I notice you are soliciting a polyandrous relationship; or rather your husband is. If a non-toyboy of the right age bracket would suit, I apply.

8:23 pm  
Blogger Lalita said...

Dear NSM,
Are you sure? A cantankerous co-husband and an unbiddable wife? You are brave, sir.

9:49 pm  
Blogger Alien said...


A dangerous bid you have put up here... I am there are more NSMs out there that will not heed even thy warning!!!

Keep yor words ready probab to ward them of!!

Of course those would deserve another post as well!!

3:54 am  
Blogger Lalita said...

Alien- Ah, ET. You are rather optimistic. I am deafened by the silence, only.

9:46 pm  
Anonymous Ash said...

A proper post, please. These fillers are getting tiresome.

5:00 am  
Blogger Lalita said...

Ash- K says, your comments are getting tiresome. Cure my RA and/or alleviate it and then talk, says he.

10:51 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i never knew that having 2 husbands was legal ;)

real funny Lalitha..
have a good day!!

11:09 am  
Blogger Lalita said...

VeenS- Of course it's not legal, he was just kidding. :-)

1:45 pm  

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