Tum mujhe yun bhula na paoge
It is over.
I stare at the message and wonder why you chose to send it.
I am not deaf or blind, I'd known it was over for sometime now. Your voice body language growing distance said as much in the last few weeks. I knew it when you shifted uncomfortably when I sat close. I knew it when you didn't smile when they played our song. I knew it when your calls grew short and letters shorter.
Why would you send this message? I am not stupid, I protested once, when you teased me about something. You tweaked my nose and said no, I wasn't stupid, just silly sometimes. There is a message in the message, then.
You could have told me face to face, when we met last when I bit your shoulder when you moved away and slept out of my encircling arms. I had known. You could have spoken but you just left.
You don't want me to call or mail or send you messages. You don't want me to ask questions. You don't want to explain. I did send some mails last week, left messages that you didn't respond to, made calls you didn't answer. Now this. You are telling me to leave you alone; it is over, and that is that. You could have spoken words. You didn't.
I won't cry over this. I knew you would leave some day, I didn't know you would leave like this, with this terse message. It is over. I won't call. Not now. I won't write. No silly messages with private jokes, our private endearments and pet names. Not now. When love is over, all that is left is pride. I will cling to it.
My thoughts swirl and images form in my mind that threaten to overwhelm me. I bite my lip. I picture you deleting my name from your contact lists, my number from your phone. Will you erase all traces of me? Will you read once again all those hours of chats before you delete them and those hundreds of mails, excising me from your life?
You can delete me from your life, can you delete me from your memories? Can you forget that scented evening when we walked arms around each other? It was cool. I shivered and you wrapped me in a bear hug. Can you forget that? Won't the surf and sands of that beach where we first met evoke me the next time you walk that path with another? Will I be a stranger when we run into each other?
There was a time when we thought incessantly of each other and lived for the moments we met. It is done with, but can you wipe those memories away? Won't a thought of me cross your mind when you hear our song?
I blink my tears away and delete your message. You won't forget me that easily.