The many uses of toyboys
"Why is everybody busy when I want to talk," I grumbled. Really, it's so unfair. It was imperative that I spend some time on the phone and nobody was available.
One friend was commuting and I could barely hear her over the traffic noise. I can hear plenty of horns out of my window; I don't need them from her phone too. Another didn't answer. I said a few unladylike things. A third was busy. Another was either switched off or unreachable.
I sighed and turned to my toyboys. I can rely on them to talk a while and amuse me. Ha! The first didn't answer. What is the world coming to? I called the Non Resident Mathematician. He didn't answer either, sigh.
Well, I could change the wallpaper and some settings on the phone then. Or send nasty text messages to these cruel lot. I was in the middle of composing a pithy message telling him what I thought of his insensitivity when the Non Resident Mathematician called back.
'Sorry, I was at the gym, " he said. "What is it? Why did you call?" I told him. He laughed. We chatted some five minutes and my purpose was achieved. I thanked him and rang off.
The next day the other toyboy called. "I was with some people," he explained. "Was it something important?" I said it was last night, but that it didn't matter now. "I called back later, but your phone was switched off."
I know, I said. "Tell me now," he said. I said I had needed to talk a while, but that was all right, I talked to my toyboy, it is okay, really.
"What do you mean you talked to your toyboy? I am your toyboy, dammit!" I clarified that I talked to the other toyboy. He sulked.
"Why did you need to talk? Why didn't you call again and talk to me?" I said it didn't matter, I just needed to talk to someone.
"About what, for heaven's sake?"
Nothing in particular, I said. I explained why I needed to talk to someone. "You are crazy, Lali," he declared flatly and hung up.
I was gobsmacked. I'd been charging my phone before the battery actually ran low all last week, as I needed to keep in touch and coordinate things. The indicator was showing minimal charge, but not the message. So I needed to talk until the 'battery low' message beeped before I charged my phone. That was all.
It is strange how people get offended when they hear the truth.