lalita larking

An obsession with cryptic crosswords. Everything else falls in place.

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Location: Kolkata, India

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Ape-men do variously

An idle mind might be the devil's workshop, but a mind in giddy relief is a veritable Aladdin's Cave of anagrams.

It was a 'prime notion' but I should have known when I discovered that 'premonition' is an anagram of 'I'm no pointer' too. I thought I could take his mind off discomfort by recounting all the great discoveries I made.

I was trying to be nice and wifely, you know. I married for better or worse, yes, but that doesn't mean one should stop trying to improve one's spouse's mind, or teaching him the arcanum of alphabet. If he wants me to stop counting on my fingers and taking help from my toes, he can learn to appreciate anagrams, is what I say.

"Aphrodite is atrophied," I told him. "I wonder why people grumble about Monday blues, when Monday is an anagram of dynamo. Was St. Michael alchemist, and does a cartoonist toot in cars," I asked.

Being 'medicated' 'decimated' his appreciation of these nuances. He just grunted. But I was determined to amuse him and engage his left brain. Anagrams exercise the brain, after all.

"Isn't it strange that deposit is an anagram of topside," I mused. "Did you know steamship room is an anagram of metamorphosis, and hey, it's 'a smooth simper' too," I said. He closed his eyes.

The 'sedative' he is on 'deviates' his mind from this lofty matter, I told myself. "Curiosity killed the cat turns out to be, I courted sick lethality," I informed him, sticking to the task of entertaining and educating him at the same time. "A capitalist pig is a papalistic git, did you know?"

He sighed. I ploughed on, because one doesn't quit in the face of indifference. "Indoor furniture may be at risk, but Great Danes are safe on garden seats," I confided. He was silent.

"I found why Othello acted as he did, it's because comparison panics Moor," I told him. He winced. "To the abortionist, to the obsequent, is an anagram of- to be or not to be, that is the question," I said.

He stirred and opened an eye. "Can you think of an anagram for strangulate?" he asked. "Sure, neutral gales," I said, delighted he was beginning to take an interest. "Murder most foul?" "Hey, that's simple, fouler mud storm," I said; "model rust forum, too."

"Are there more of these gems," he asked, rolling to face the other side. I discerned boredom in the tone, but one makes allowances for invalids. Education is an uphill task.

"Um, urticaria by Pooh-Bah is an anagram of arachibutyrophobia," I said. "Really, how nice." "Yes and Whistler's Mother is worthless hermit."

"I think I will have a nap now," he said, and closed his eyes in a definite snub.

"Ape-men do variously is an anagram of ampersand I love you," I said in tart tones. He started snoring, the ingrate.

Cheers!

5 Comments:

Blogger Sue said...

I try to spread sweetness and light in V's life with the little puns that occur to me from time to time. He's not appreciative of my efforts either.

2:24 am  
Blogger anantha said...

You don't give up, do you? :D

5:17 am  
Blogger Alien said...

Wonderful... I wish I could do cryptics like that!!

8:36 am  
Anonymous Ash said...

Lali, have you thought of getting counseling for this anagram obsession of yours? That Whistler's Mother was nice, though, and the curiosity killed the cat one.

6:45 pm  
Blogger Lalita said...

Sue- Men! That says it all, actually.

Anantha- You remember those tales of Vikram and Betaal? I am like that, persistent. :-)

Alien- Thanks ET, practice makes perfect, as they say.

Ash- It's a perfectly harmless obsession, you must admit. It probably keeps me from getting Alzheimer's.

2:57 pm  

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