lalita larking

An obsession with cryptic crosswords. Everything else falls in place.

Name:
Location: Kolkata, India

Monday, February 12, 2007

Saudade

I wonder where you are now. I wonder what you are doing, whether you think of me at odd moments, as I do of you.

I know it is over. We never said so, but we both know it. Even so, there is a part of me that keeps wishing for what we had. You went away, moved on to other things. I try to do the same, to move on.

Yesterday, as I walked the same path we walked together two years ago, I thought of you. Those puppies I petted that day are full-grown dogs now. I remember how you looked on indulgently, holding my bags so I could cope with their exuberance better. I remember what you said then. Perhaps you didn't mean it. Do you remember, even?

All that remains to me now is this wistfulness, a hope that you will come back someday, if only for a short while. You'd go away again, I know, and I will revisit this very same longing all over again. Perhaps it is for the best then, that you won't come back.

When you sang for me, when you sketched for me, when your world revolved round me, when you were there – I never realised what a precious thing I had. I took it for granted, as my just dues. I thought it would be the same, always.

You grew away from me. I wrote a flippant note, remember? Jaayiye, aap kahaan jaayenge? Well, now I know.

You are in this the same world, the same country, even. But you could be on another planet. You are lost to me. With love and much regret I write to you,

Perdita

5 Comments:

Anonymous Rajesh said...

Back to writing letters, I see. Why not write a cheerful post for a change, Auntie Lali?

5:33 pm  
Blogger Alien said...

Perdita.... ?? disambiguate please... :-)

11:41 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Rajesh- Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full sir. And for the last time, desist with the Auntie business.

Alien- Hi ET, gave a link, didn't I? It means 'lost one', Shakespeare used the name in Winter's Tale, and it's been made well-known by several celebs who chose to rejoice in that name.

11:49 pm  
Blogger KingSlayer said...

Well, the puppies have become full grown dogs, and thats always a good sign that bygones need to be bygones. Water under the bridge and all that blah. But it never quite works that way, does it?

7:05 am  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Kingslayer- Hi, and welcome. You are right, it never works that way.

4:59 pm  

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