lalita larking

An obsession with cryptic crosswords. Everything else falls in place.

Name:
Location: Kolkata, India

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Going within without without

Ai ai yo, what shall I do,
How shall I save my skin?

A non sequitur, I grant you. Are you reading this, my dear Non Sequitur Man? The things I do for fans, I tell you… Neha is miffed that I had no 'Within' in the 'without without' post. Worse, K is disappointed. Boo hoo. Lord and master is unhappy and I am heartbroken already. And then, and then Dear Reader, Rimi, that Imp, tells me my last post was incomplete.

I was only trying to save the State Government its blushes, good grief! But no, they want the full version. The things I do for people… I tell you, the mind boggles.

Teach me how to post pics fast, somebody; and better still, buy me a gadget that will do it before you give me that tutorial. Nice belated birthday gift it shall be. Though mind you, I will need tutorials. Praveen, are you paying attention? How do I put pictures of these idiotic documents up? Do tell. But here goes:



GOVERNMENT OF WEST BENGAL
DIRECTORATE OF ELECTRICITY
1, HARISH MUKHERJEE ROAD, KOLKATA =700 020
**************************************************************************************************************
Memo No. IOL --------------, Dated, Kolkata---------------- 2006

From :: The Inspector of Lifts, West Bengal.
To :: Sri/ Madam ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sub :: Renewal / Revalidation of Lift License No. / Nos-----------
Installed at----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is seen from our office record that you have not renewed/
Revalidated yoursubject licence being No. / Nos -------------------
since--------------------. This is a highly irregular practice. You are
directed to renew / revalidate the same and deposit the amount of money towards renewal / revalidation fees without any further delay. It may be noted that renewal / revalidation of licence is obligatory under law.

It is pertinent to mention here that operation of lift without valid licence is a serious offence as per law. You are directed not to offer any service to lift in any manner what so ever without to offer any service without following the above directive.

In case of any difficulty you may meet officials of the Lift Department for guidance between 10.30 A.M. to 2 P.M. on any working day


I did say the mind boggles. Why can't they pay me part-time to correct these idiocies, eh? Why do they prefer to sock me for the last paisa they can extract when I have to goggle at such illiterate tripe? Why can't they ask me to be editor, sub-editor and proofreader and all that, eh?

Now I grant you this: In the subject line, it did say license. But then, should I not indulge in fond fantasies of telling that Inspector of Lifts that 'licence' is excessive freedom and lack of restraint? And that it is freedom to deviate deliberately from normally applicable rules or practices, especially in behaviour or speech?

Yes, yes, I know the third and fourth definitions of 'licence' are that it is a legal document, giving official permission to do something and the act of giving a formal and usually written authorisation.

Yes, I also know about American usage, but still. It is so tempting. Karthik, I hope this explains it. I will talk about my dog's name and cluelessness later. Okay?

There you go kiddies.

Cheers!

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boo hoo, I can't post without mistakes and I can't be bothered to redo. Not this late at night when it has suddeenly turned cool and gusty. Later, perhaps.

Ze Lark.

1:59 am  
Blogger neha vish said...

Oi Lali - Delightful you are. All miffment gone. :)

2:17 am  
Blogger anantha said...

Upload pictures somewhere and find out url of uploaded pics, i.e. http://your.photourl.com/urphoto.jpg or something.

In your post, where ever you want the pics to appear, include this peice of html code:

< img src = " http: //your. photourl. com/urphoto. jpg" >

If you want it to be clickable, i.e. link the picture to somewhere, this is what you do:

< a href = "http:// yourlink. com" >< img src = "http: //your. photourl.com/urphoto. jpg" > < / a>

for more info, go here: http://www.w3.org/MarkUp/html3/img.html

And yes, as you see the laddie is here.

(P.S: Remove unnecessary spaces from the code above. Wouldn't let me post otherwise :p)

2:56 am  
Anonymous Prophet of Doom said...

@ lalita:

Why can't they ask me to be editor, sub-editor and proofreader and all that, eh?

Nice idea ! **CHUCKLES**

4:56 am  
Blogger karthik durvasula said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:03 am  
Blogger karthik durvasula said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:05 am  
Blogger karthik durvasula said...

Ok, from your post, I get the picture that you think 'license' is the right (british) spelling, and 'licence' is the (wrong spelling and/or) american spelling.

If this impression is wrong by itself, then ignore the rest of the comment, lol.

For those of you who continued to read: 'licence' was spelt properly (by which i mean, proper british spelling) in the letter, and wrongly in the subject line of the letter ('license' is the american spelling for the same).

'license' in british/indian spellings is the verb 'to license something'. 'licence' is the noun as in 'a licence'.

What this gets me to is the unnecessary pedanticism with regard to spelling and punctuation. Especially this from the previous post (maanga...)

Admittedly, English is a second language to most Indian bloggers

It seems to suggest that spelling and punctuation doesn't come naturally to 'most indian bloggers' because they are second language speakers.

The fact remains that native speakers make exactly the same mistakes with spelling and punctuation. So, there is almost no need to talk about 'second-language usage'.

Another point is, purists always argue that people should make an effort to learn spelling/puntuation better, and anyone who doesn't do so is 'destroying the language'.

The actual objective fact remains that the english spelling system is a mess (Bernard Shaw said cried for spelling reform a 100 years back - ghoti being the clincher). Why not ask for a change in the system? it make more sense to me than thinking people less educated or less 'aesthetically oriented' than the good-spellers for not spelling/punctuating properly.

5:06 am  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Neha- Miffment? Miffment? :-)

Anantha- There is something about those angle brackets, I tell you. I break into cold sweat at the sightof them. Much obliged for the lesson.

Ram- Heh.

Karthik- I prefer British usage, is all. I have already been accused of being a Grammar Nazi. Nothing of the sort. I just chuckled at the thought of telling an Inspector of Lifts about the definitions of 'licence' and got a post out of it. It is a free world, and people can spell as they want. Then I can crib too, right, if it is a free world?

11:22 am  
Blogger Speech is Golden said...

I am reminded of the "Ministry of Silly walks"

12:06 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Ram- Really? Do elucidate further.

12:20 pm  
Blogger karthik durvasula said...

Monty Python!!!! 'The Ministry of Silly Walks' was an episode of Monty Python - The Flying Circus.

I think it is one of the funniest episodes ever!

Aah, someone revels along with me in the glory that is Monty Python.

@ lalita - from your (actual/main) post, it looked like you thought 'license' was the 'correct brit spelling'. Do we laugh at you, then? ;)

4:13 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Karthik- I don't know films.

And my post was about this:

It is pertinent to mention here that operation of lift without valid licence is a serious offence as per law. You are directed not to offer any service to lift in any manner what so ever without to offer any service without following the above directive.

And about wondering if writing a letter with detailed definitions would be fun. Obviously it won't, now. :(

4:26 pm  
Blogger Rimi said...

MU-U-U-U-CH better now :D

11:33 pm  
Anonymous None said...

The mind really boggles! And I had to toggle MY brain to remember if I had read a worse case of official communication! Came up zilch.

Give us more Lali if you can.

7:43 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Hi None. Welcome. Join the club. We are all in the same boat of being seriously mindboggled here, heh.

10:30 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

@Rimi- Thanks, darling. One aims to please.

9:58 pm  

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