lalita larking

An obsession with cryptic crosswords. Everything else falls in place.

Location: Kolkata, India

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Thinking of you

Compose Mail, urges Gmail. As if it is so easy.

I need a reason to write, don't I? The to: field is easy, you know? I only have to type the first letter of your name, and Gmail helpfully offers to complete it. It even suggests others whose names begin with the same letter, whom I might want to write to. No thanks I say, I want to write to you; and you alone.

The subject field presents problems, though. I don't like to leave it blank. But just how many ways can I say 'simply', 'because', 'just like that', 'yunhi', 'summa', 'uTTinE'? That I am writing because I am thinking of you?

I think of it as writing letters, when I should be thinking of it as mailing. Other people write short notes; one-sentence mails with no salutations or taking leave. I tend to say 'dear so and so' and ramble in several paragraphs and take leave carefully. Mailing is short if not always sweet, and to the point. My writing to you has no point other than I want to write to you, to connect again and make sure you are still there. It is just seeking confirmation.

But, why should I be thinking of you? Why do you stick around in my head? You are my latest obsession, that is why. I write these letters mails whatever, some three or four a day, simply because I am thinking of you.

I once had an interesting discussion if we repeat our idiocies in love. If you squirt the letters with perfume, or kiss the envelop before you post it, do you repeat such things when you fall in love again, when the mere recollection of it makes you cringe in chagrin and pity at the idiot you were then? Not that anybody does such things in these days of emails and text messages, but do you repeat jokes or puns you perpetrate? Do you say the same things to the next love? Do you quote the same poets and the same lines?

I was shocked to even think of such a thing. How can you say the same thing to two persons? Yes, you are enamoured but they aren't the same people, so how can you use the same words? It is an insult to both of them to recycle things said.

My obsession with you is new, so why would I say what I said to another? You are not that person. The equation is different, our common ground is different, and I am not the same person I was when I obsessed about the other. That was then, this is now. I have fresh words for you, surely?

Anyway, I am writing now because I have this brilliant idea.

In the subject field I will type 'thinking of you' and I will change my signature to state -- Yours in obsession. And hit the send button. Every time I feel this urge to write to you. That says it all, doesn't it? I won't even have to type the subject again, the first couple of letters and Gmail helpfully fills in the rest.

What do you think?


Anonymous Rajesh said...

How many of this 'thinking of you, yours in obsession' mails did you send the latest?

8:33 pm  
Anonymous Ash said...

So are you going to do "the old hallways" or just write these letter fiction and toy boy posts? Be nice, Lali.

9:32 pm  
Blogger Shirsha said...

:) Amused by the pair of comments you've got! Lol...

10:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feeling shortchanged. Write long mails. None of this to and yours in obsession stuff.

11:58 pm  
Blogger netizen said...

you "write to, to connect again and make sure (you) are still there. It is just seeking confirmation."

isn't that so..
the google ad(sense?)is missing

5:58 pm  
Blogger dipali said...

I'm sure the token mails will get you nowhere, Lali. From a writer/poet like you they would be most unsatisfactory.....

11:43 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zqgezzy. That is the measure. Your word verification monster I had to deal with to post this comment, Lali. Come on, you write nice letters, I am sure, write them to me, please.
Secret admirer

12:16 am  
Blogger Lalita said...

Rajesh- That's for me to know and for you to wonder.

Ash- No, I am not writing about lowly dealt hash. I am being nice, you see?

Shirsha- I know. Sigh.

Anon- Give me your mail id and we'll see.

Netizen- Google must have read your earlier comment and stopped displaying the ads to you. :-)

Dipali- I tend to ramble too much. I must cultivate brevity, I am afraid.

Anon- I've typed worse combinations for verification. I thought you had taken leave, by the way?

5:13 pm  

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