lalita larking

An obsession with cryptic crosswords. Everything else falls in place.

Location: Kolkata, India

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Yeh mera prem patra padhkar

With time and distance separating us as ever, I ask. With remembered ardour and lasting affection, with old familiarity and a new hesitance, I ask.

How are you?

I remember when you asked me that, once. I said it was a complicated question. You said that was a simple answer. You laughed and sent kisses on the ether to take the sting out.

If you asked me if I thought about you, I could have replied at length. I could have told you how I continued talking to you in my head all through the day, long after signing off. I could have told you that you were on my mind as I did chores and mundane things became pleasurable because you were on my mind.

If you asked me if I needed you I could have said a lot. I could have told you how I cherished the idea of you, the fact of you and that we are in this world together, here and now, and never mind the miles and other walls that separate us. I could have said you are a talisman.

But you never asked, because you knew. How I cherished that certainty of yours.

When you held your hand out, so confident that I'd slip mine into it, when you signed off so simply but with such bravery declaring love, when you called at odd hours just to hear the sound of my voice, to hear me breatheā€¦ You knew.

I could tell you, if I search for words and find them, about how I miss you; how I think of you at the oddest moments, how I invoke memories of you as if they were snapshots in an album and sort through them, how I dare not revisit some too often lest they get too familiar and lose their preciousness.

There's much I could tell you if you asked. You haven't.

I don't know what love means. I have no words for that. I have words to say to you, though.

How are you?


Anonymous Prabhu said...

"how I dare not revisit some too often lest they get too familiar and lose their preciousness"

So true!

Excellent post!

11:09 pm  
Anonymous Rajesh said...

Auntie Lali, you need a break.
Either he's okay or he isn't, he is not telling you, so don't ask. Lets have some dignity here, what do you say?

11:27 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lalitha...Good tear jerker...Nice one...beautiful expression...

11:32 pm  
Blogger Priya said...

Babe, you rock :) There are words, expressions and moments that flash across my mind right now. I don't know whether it's love, but I know I want to talk and I want to share. What's with me? ;)

12:21 am  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Prabhu- Thanks.

Rajesh- Child, it was a generic love letter with no genders mentioned, if you notice. Think before you post derogatory remarks.

Cowey- Um, tear jerker? Really? Touched a chord, did I? And please, it is Lalita without an aitch.

Priya- You and me both, babe. Welcome aboard.

8:58 am  
Anonymous Ash said...

Very well written. Did you write this for an actual person?

2:20 pm  
Blogger abhorigine said...

Why do we love when we know it hurts so much?

3:22 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Ash- As a matter of fact, yes. :-)

Ram- Ah, the great mystery. Indeed, why do we love, when experience ought to warn us of the hurt in waiting?

5:11 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lessons in writing love letters. Lovely.

Openly admiring now,
Secret admirer

8:35 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Anon- Sheesh. Get a name

8:44 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do you mean you don't know what love means? Anyway here's the answer. Love is asking the other person, who is separated by time and distance, with remembered ardour and lasting affection, with old familiarity and a new hesitance, how he or she is,without using any words,and then getting back a laugh and a few ethereal kisses in return.

10:08 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Raj- Don't throw my words back at me, no? I am embarrassed only, no?

10:32 pm  
Anonymous someone said...

someone said that you dont need to stay in touch..i dont agree

4:00 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Someone- That someone has a point. You can rememeber a person fondly without being in touch.

5:04 pm  
Anonymous Ash said...

Really? The mind boggles.

8:31 pm  
Anonymous Rajesh said...

Lali, do tell. Okay, no genders mentioned, I agree, but it was clearly a woman writing to a man. Generic love letter indeed. So spill already. And I take it back about retaining dignity.

9:59 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:-) .. Fine thank you...

It was good... enough that I took the liberty to answer ;-)

11:59 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Ash- Yeah, the mind boggles.

Rajesh- For me to know and all that.

Alien- You are welcome.

Um, what was good, please? And what liberty and what answer?

9:55 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so good was the letter
that i thought
it didnt matter
if I took the liberty
and answered
"fine .. thank you,Ms Pretty" ..

2:38 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

Smiles Ms Pretty and says, good to know that, sweetie.

2:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Aw' says sweetie..
The endearments
Get naughty
And since we
Don't know Ms Pretty
Lets not forget propriety....


6:26 pm  
Blogger Lalita Mukherjea said...

For laughing out loud. I thought you were saying 'fine thank you' about the blogroll. Hence the confusion and questions.

Let's not forget propriety, yeah. But Missus Em is free with her endearments, ET.

7:46 pm  

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